How to Narcissistic Abuse Proof Your Life - Part 1

Wow! This month has come and almost gone! I don’t know about you, but it has been a busy time for me. However, I had to make time to write about this very important topic.

So, how can you narcissistic abuse proof your life?

I am not going to go through a multi-step approach, I am not going to give away a solution and claim that it is a closely-guarded secret, I am not going to bamboozle and baffle you with terminology, jargon or semantics.

What I will do is outline a simple, tried and tested, proven way of doing life and while doing it, you will be able to establish and maintain strong boundaries which will keep narcissists and other toxic individuals from using your life as though it is their playground.

What is the simple way of doing life, I hear you ask?

The answer is love. No, not the way you have always thought about love, but a love that is almost incomprehensible by the finite human mind. Love that is all-encompassing, unconditional, gentle, gracious, humble, insightful, understanding, protective, pro-active, patient, kind. Wouldn’t you love to experience a love like that? Well, you can. The love that I have just described is God’s love. Yes, the love of God has these attributes woven within it and so much more!

You see, when you dare to believe in a God who is loving, kind, generous, gracious, patient, humble and the list could go on for eternity, (and it will) you will be able to bask in the light of God’s love. His love is transformative. God has a way of taking broken hearts and souls - broken and twisted by abuse, hate, indifference, envy, anger, jealousy, arrogance, pride, fear - and clean, suture, bandage them with His Word such as Jeremiah 31: 3 ‘The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.’ Also, the ubiquitous, John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.’ When you choose to believe and become part of the ‘whosoever’ then you will begin to experience a love that could let Jesus willingly give His life for you and for me. It has often been said that it was not the nails that kept Christ hung on the cross that Preparation Day, but love. It was love for humankind that kept him on the cross.

First, accepting that love and then experiencing it freely, can liberate you from previous negative thought patterns, unwise choices, harmful behaviour patterns also. A strange thing begins to happen: when you internalise God’s, love you begin to see yourself as He sees you; a person of inestimable value. Just because you are you. When you value yourself, you begin to love and be kind to yourself. The effect is that you are in a better position to authentically love others. God’s love is reciprocal. He wants us to love him, because He has first loved us, then show that love to those around us. However, it has to be in that order.

The Gospel of Mark 12:30-31 instructs, ‘“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”’ You can only love your neighbour as yourself when you first love God with all your heart.

By putting the above into practice will start you on your way to being able to narcissistic abuse proof your life.

In another post, I will be identifying the practical application of loving God, loving yourself, then being able to love others.

Until next time.

Love & Blessings

xx