Roots: Avoiding Narcissistic Abuse
Today, I felt like Lady Macbeth in Act 5 -”Out damned spot.” Why was it so hard to get out?
Pulling, heaving and wresting the stubborn, large, metamorphosed, weed that was doing all that it could to stay secure in the soil that equally did not so easily want to see prised out; I was having a challenging time to say the least. The inattentiveness to my garden had allowed the weeds to take over so that it resembled ‘Little Shop of horrors’. Or like the weeds were on steroids!
However, finally, this particular weed was levered out and what surprised me the most was the long white singular root that had inserted and insinuated itself into the inviting soil that so readily wanted to hold onto it. Seeing the cause of my backbreaking efforts and realising that it was due to this singular root made me think that once again, nature was teaching me or revealing something to me yet again.
How often, due to the inattentiveness to the garden which is our lives, do we allow weeds to grow?
The weeds can be symbolic of and representative of the things - behaviours, attitudes, emotions, thoughts - which we allow to grow, fester, and manifest in negative ways which we seem incapable of dealing with. Much like my stubborn weed.
You see, above the soil were the thick stems and broad leaves with a purple flower atop each stem: looking somewhat attractive. However, what could not be ignored that although there was a flower making the plant look presentable and dare I say pretty, it was still a weed. A parasitic weed which had sprung up and was draining the soil of precious nutrients which another plant could be enjoying.
As you know, weeds need no invitation: they will spring up anywhere and everywhere. Much like the weeds which are in our hearts, minds and souls, the weeds of past hurts and pain will and can spring up anywhere. Triggers.
This is why it is so important to get to the root of a matter and uproot the weed at that level - the root.
Roots go down deep, deep into soil; so does trauma reach down deep into the soil of your soul. Excavation is needed and that only happens when you start digging up and rooting up that which has long lay dormant. (A trusted therapist or counsellor can support this). Interestingly, the thick stems, broad leaves and small flowers are reminiscent of the things that others see and think of as your characteristics, but they are not. Whatever these things are for you such as a witty personality, attractive physical appearance, a sense of humour: these things have no substance because they are not really you, arguably. They are the hollow facade which is in place to cover up and hide what really lies beneath the surface. Much like the weed root below the soil.
When I tugged and tugged and finally, the weed was uprooted, that one root made me think that oftentimes, it can be just one thing in our past, in our childhood that when left un-dealt with, spawns so much more that will ultimately need to be dealt with and addressed.
As we countdown to the annual World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day WNAAD on June 1st, take it from me, you will ALWAYS be susceptible to individuals with narcissistic traits unless you first deal with yourself and your past hurts. At the root level.
A lot of people use weedkillers in their gardens. Do you know what is the best weedkiller to use in the garden of your life, your soul?
Love.
Self-love is the best way to avoid being targeted, used and discarded by someone with narcissistic traits.
Want to know how?
If you have been impacted and you are wanting to start your healing journey, check out my 10-step recovery guide at the store.
One weed at a time. One root at a time. One step at a time and one day at a time, we will make it over to the other side where your healing awaits.
Come join me as we journey together and remember, be kind to yourself.
Until next time.
Love & Blessings
xxx
